[INTERVIEW]
Brad Johnson: Well, Ben, welcome to the show.
Ben Nemtin: Thank you.
Brad Johnson: This is fun. You just spoke to our community out here in Del Mar. We’re doing the DBDL Retreat, so we wanted to grab some time to have a conversation, so thanks for making it happen.
Ben Nemtin: Thanks for having me. I loved speaking with the crew. I talked with a couple of people afterwards, too, about their list, and specifically around talking with their kids about the list, and using The Bucket List Journal, and how to have that conversation. Because the bucket list ends up being an entry point into a meaningful conversation about what’s important, which is a great thing to have with your kids.
Brad Johnson: Yeah. Well, for those unfamiliar, we should dive into the list and what that means, getting more familiar with your story. You’re an athlete, you’re 19, you’re a rugby player. Yeah, I can relate. I was a football player growing up. And you went from that to basically dropping out, going through depression, and then you had some buddies that kind of pulled you out of that that led to this crazy pursuit that literally changed your life. So, for those not familiar, tell us a version of that story.
Ben Nemtin: I grew up in Victoria, which is by Vancouver in Canada, and rugby is a big deal in Victoria. It’s where the national team trains. Our high school coach was an ex-national coach. And so, it’s kind of like football in the South, right? I’m sure when you were playing football, that was the experience. So, it was the thing to do. It was the cool thing to do, but it also was the aspirational thing to do. And I played a position where there was a lot of pressure on me. I was calling the plays, I was kicking field goals. It was called the fly-half. And I was really excited because I was heading to the World Cup, the Under-19 World Cup, which was in Paris. So, I was training for that. I was practicing my field goals every day.
But there was a thought in my head that I couldn’t kick, which was this memory, actually, of me missing the game-winning kick in our high school championship, right? So, our high school had sort of a history of winning the championship, and I felt like I had let everyone down by missing that kick. And you know, at that age, especially when you’re in high-level sport, it’s like, that’s your entire world. So, it was everything, and I thought, “That cannot happen again,” right? Like, I cannot blow it again. And that pressure that I put on myself manifested in anxiety. That anxiety caused me to stop sleeping, and the lack of sleep and the anxiety and the pressure all contributed to me feeling depressed and having this experience of feeling depression for the first time in my life.
And this was a really scary thing, because I didn’t know anyone that had gone through something like this. I was A-type personality, kind of life of the party type of guy. Like, I loved being social, and all of a sudden, I couldn’t go to school. I couldn’t go to rugby practice. I couldn’t leave my house. Like, I was afraid. I was afraid that once I stopped going to class, like what was I going to say to my friends? And then I couldn’t go to rugby practice, and what was I going to say to coach? And so, this sort of crippling anxiety just got worse and worse and worse, and my world got smaller and smaller and smaller, literally until I was just in my room, and it was hard for me to go for a walk.
I remember my parents would just push me out the door to go for a 15-minute walk, and sometimes I’d just hide beside the house in the driveway, and then I’d come back. And so, this lasted like six months. Everything I was working towards was gone, and I didn’t see a future for myself. It was really challenging for me. And there were many things that pulled me out of that, and I want to be sort of clear that there were many things, and it wasn’t one single thing. This helped because this depression is complicated, and everyone’s different. And probably the best thing I did was get a therapist. And finally found a therapist that I liked talking to, that I trusted, that was really good. And there were other things.
But one of the things that happened was my friends showed up, and they convinced me to leave the house and come work with them in Banff, Alberta, for the summer, which was maybe a 10-hour drive. And I was really hesitant to do anything, but they really showed up for me, and they showed me that they cared about me, and they kind of rallied me, and they supported me. And they kind of didn’t really give me a no, like, let me say no. And so, I went with them. And just leaving the house and going to do something else felt like I wasn’t stuck anymore. All of a sudden, there was a little bit of momentum in my life. And I was in a new town, so no one knew me, and I could just kind of meet new people, and they didn’t know that I was struggling. And so, I got a job, and all of a sudden, slowly, I started to feel like I was coming back to myself.
And I realized, too, that these new kids that I was also meeting in Banff, they were really inspiring. Like, I met these kids that were entrepreneurs, that had traveled, and I’d never met anyone like that from my hometown. And I was like, “Oh, these kids give me energy.” And I started to understand that some people energize me, some people drew energy from me. I needed to be around people that energized me because of the state I was in. So, I made a commitment after that summer. I was like, “Okay, I’m only going to be around people that energize me. I’m going to try and only surround myself with people that inspire me.” And so, I got back home, and I sort of made this checklist of all the friends that were inspiring.
And there was really only one. And I didn’t even really know him. He just took my sister to prom, and I kind of knew him from the neighborhood, but he made movies. And I was like, “I want to make a movie.” And so, I called him up, and I was like, “You don’t know me really well, but you make movies. I want to make a movie. Let’s make something.” And there were two other friends that were also interested. And so, the four of us started talking about this idea of making a film, but we didn’t know what it was about. But we all had the same feeling, that we all had things that we wanted to do in our life, but we hadn’t done them yet. We felt stuck.
And so, serendipitously, my friend was assigned a poem called The Buried Life, and The Buried Life articulated the feeling we were feeling. We felt buried. Our dreams were buried. We’d never acted on them. And so, we thought, “Well, perfect. Let’s take this name, and let’s call this film The Buried Life, and we’ll make a list of all of our buried dreams, and we’ll hit the road, and we’ll go after them. And we’ll help other people achieve their buried dreams. And we’ll make a little film, and that’ll be that.” And so, that was the mission. And so, it grew out of this discontent, and then it manifested in a bucket list, really. And so, the challenge was, okay, let’s go after this list. Let’s take a two-week road trip, and let’s help other people achieve their dreams.
And it was only intended to be two weeks. But what happened was people started to hear about it, and they wanted to help. And strangers offered help. And people were like, “I can help you cross this off. I can help you cross this off.” And then people sent us their dreams, asking for our help. And so, we just kept going because people were excited by it. They wanted to help. And we were getting excited about it. And I was starting to feel more alive. And I was realizing like, oh, being able to act on this creativity makes me come alive. And I started to discover who I truly was through this process. And ultimately, this list became a device that enabled me to discover who I truly was.
And so, it started as a list of accomplishments, but it ended up being this journey of self-discovery, of challenging yourself, of moving through the fear of the unknown, of doing it together so there’s accountability. And we achieved goals that we, literally, if you would’ve asked me, “What’s the percentage of some of these big list items happening?” I would’ve said zero. Like, we put them on kind of as a joke. We’re like, “Pretend you have all the money in the world. Pretend you can do anything.” You know, write a New York Times bestseller, sit with Oprah, have a beer with Prince Harry, make a TV show, make a movie. And the crazy part was, over time, those big list items start to fall off the list.
And then we realized that these moments of helping other people were unlike anything we’ve ever experienced before. When we help someone else with their dream, it was like super connection. All of a sudden, it’s like you’ve known them for 10 years. You get to share this moment where they’re doing this thing that means so much to them, you’re taking part in that, and you build this connection, and that feeling was something we had never felt before. So, we were fueled by that, we were fueled by the help of other people, and we were fueled by our own accomplishments to just keep going to see where this went. And it led to this incredible adventure, and ultimately to what I’m doing now.
Brad Johnson: Yeah. I just had a realization, and I don’t know if you’ve ever thought about it this way, but you’re going into college, as we call it in the US, or university, I believe, as you all call it, and you’re struggling. And by the way, I think that’s common. I remember when you leave that high school group of friends that you grew up with, and you venture out on your own, it’s scary. I remember my dad dropping me off, still to this day, I was the first one in the dorm room, and I just sat there, stared around, and looked, and I was like, “Well, now what?” And it’s almost as if when you dropped out, you did a self-funded university yourself with some buddies.
And because you think about what you learned in college or university, you’re doing these projects. You have these groups that you form, study groups, whatever. You just did a road trip and created your own college/university experience, and helped some people along the way, which is pretty wild. Have you ever thought about it that way, where you created your own version of it, of university?
Ben Nemtin: Yeah, I mean, I definitely…
Brad Johnson: Because it was the same age, right, about?
Ben Nemtin: Yeah, and I learned more doing that than I think I could ever learn in university. And I think that I’m a big fan of what happens in the UK and Australia, which is a gap year, where you’re not expected to know what you want to study, because how could you? You haven’t lived enough. So, take a year, travel, learn, try new things, meet new people, get to know yourself a little bit, and then maybe you can find out. And that’s kind of what this was, right? For us, it was figuring out who we truly were, right? And there’s a great line in the Buried Life poem, and it’s all about following your true original course. And I think that that’s really what this came down to, was I was living the dream when I was in university. I was on the national rugby team. I had an academic scholarship. I was checking all the boxes.
Like, that was the dream that I was told I should live. So, I was living the dream, but it wasn’t my dream, and I didn’t know that. And I think that a lot of times we feel these feelings of suppression or depression or anxiety when we are not living truly aligned. And so, what this was that the list was not a list of things to achieve. It was a list of experiments to try them to see if they energized me or us, to make me feel more alive. And then once I felt energized, I knew to follow that energy that would lead me to something incredible. And it always did. Like, any time we just followed that energy, it led to something else. And that, I think, is when you live that way, you live aligned, and then you are able to unlock the gifts that only you were given, because you are your full expression. Right?
And that’s the thing that people regret not doing at the end of their life, like I talked about on stage. Like, most people regret the things they didn’t do, not the things they did. And the biggest regret is, “I wish I would’ve lived true to me.” And so, early on, we just got really lucky to stumble into this experiment where we started to discover who we truly were. And we were forcing each other to learn, to push through the fear, to challenge ourselves. And now we’re all doing different things, but we’re all doing things that are aligned with who we are, and we kind of did it together for 10 years, and then everyone started to do their own thing. And I think that process of stopping to think about what you want so that you can live intentionally is really important, because we just get caught up in the day-to-day.
It’s like, I’m the worst at it, too. And even though I talk about it all the time, it’s just so easy to get buried…
Brad Johnson: Fall back in the rut.
Ben Nemtin: …by the day-to-day.
Brad Johnson: Yeah.
Ben Nemtin: And that’s why writing your list is a great exercise, because at the very least, stops you in your tracks to think about what you want and how to live intentionally. And that’s just something that we don’t do too often. And if you look at the research, it shows us that that’s actually a big problem, because that ends up being our biggest regret.
Brad Johnson: Yeah. So, how serendipitous, if you go back, because at first it was two weeks. And then I think the next summer, did you extend it to four?
Ben Nemtin: Yeah, we did two months.
Brad Johnson: Two months, okay.
Ben Nemtin: Yep. We, so we did the first two week…
Brad Johnson: So, this was like 19, 20, 21 as far as your age?
Ben Nemtin: Yeah, it was like early 20s. Early 20s, yeah. So, two weeks, the first road trip. We came back. We were overwhelmed by the response. We’re like, “We have to do this again.”
Brad Johnson: This was what? ‘0…?
Ben Nemtin: ’06, ’07. Yep.
Brad Johnson: Pre-iPhone.
Ben Nemtin: Oh, yeah. Motorola Razr.
Brad Johnson: Wow. Let’s go.
Ben Nemtin: Yeah. We got flip phones. We’re doing QWERTY text messages. This is early days. Facebook was in universities and colleges. YouTube was just starting. Twitter had just kind of got going.
Brad Johnson: How you got it out there, you had a website.
Ben Nemtin: Yeah, so it’s funny. Thinking about it now, it just feels like a completely different era, which it was. So, the way that we got sponsors, we would cold call companies, pretend we had a production company, and say we’re making this documentary, and then give them the pitch on the visibility they would get from the doc, which was, “We’ll talk about you in the news. We’ll put your logo on our T-shirts. We’ll put your logo on the side of the RV.” And we actually got the second tour, because we did the first tour, and then the next one was longer and the full summer. We got Levi’s to sponsor it. And we got PalmPilot. Do you remember PalmPilot with the stylus?
Brad Johnson: Oh, yeah, I remember PalmPilot.
Ben Nemtin: Yeah. We put them out of business. No, just kidding. No. And so…
Brad Johnson: BlackBerry was next.
Ben Nemtin: BlackBerry was next. And Levi’s, they gave us money for the tour. They gave us PR. We made T-shirts. They helped us buy the bus, because we got this big purple transit bus. And we didn’t pay ourselves a dime. We got a crew from LA to follow us the next summer that we did the two months. So, we put all the money into the documentary, had incredible experiences, more magic happened on the tour, helped more people, and we’re like, “Perfect, we’re ready to make this documentary.” And then we learn how expensive it is to do post-production. And we had no money left. And so, actually, we stopped because we had no money. We hadn’t paid ourselves a dime. We actually got offered a show in Canada for MTV Canada.
We turned it down because they wanted to own it. And we wanted to keep doing it ourselves. So, we’re now kicking ourselves. We’ve turned down a show. We got hundreds of thousands of dollars of sponsorship. We didn’t pay ourselves anything, and now we have nothing to show for it. And I go to work in a bar, and everyone goes back to school. And I feel this low again. And this is all stuff that I don’t have time to talk about in the 60-minute keynote. But this is before the show. This is the journey to we haven’t made anything yet. And I ended up going down to the Baja with my parents, and they had a timeshare with some friends, and I met one of their… My parents’ friend’s daughters lived in LA, and I started talking with her.
And she was like, “This is really cool. Like, if you’re doing this, or thinking about doing this in Canada, you should think about doing it in the US.” And I was like, “Great.” Like, all we had was a trailer. I didn’t have any money. She flew me down on a buddy pass to LA. I start to learn. She introduced me to a couple of people. I start to learn, “Oh, I need to partner with a production company. I need to get an agent.” Start doing trips back and forth. And now we were really focused on the list item number 54, make a TV show. And we had edited our own pilot, and now we’re starting to show around. And ultimately, over about a year and a half, we pitched it to networks. ABC and MTV both wanted to do the show.
We went with MTV because they were going to allow us to be executive producers and maintain creative control. And so, we drove our purple bus down to LA, and we started producing a show from four guys with no money, no crew. All of a sudden, with a budget, 30-person crew, making a television show for MTV, which was the same time Jersey Shore was on MTV. So, it was the last era of MTV. And we had to make a reality show that was real, because our whole thing was like, it has to be real. And so, we did it completely on our own. We wouldn’t clear venues. And so, that show ended up being the thing that brought it to the world, and ultimately, I think, inspired a lot of people in high school and college to take a step towards their thing.
And this is when I started to learn like, oh my God, there’s this beautiful win-win when you do what you love because you get to do it and you inspire other people to go after their thing. You get to encourage them to do their thing just by doing your thing. You create this ripple effect. And we didn’t expect that when we first started. In the beginning, we were like, “Well, maybe the documentary won’t even be about us. It’ll just be about asking people this question, “What do you want to do before you die?” And if we can help them, then we will, and that’ll be the doc. And we’ll do our list on the side. But as we started to do it, people would email us, be like, “Hey, keep going. You’re inspiring me to go after my thing.” And so, that’s how it continued to grow.
Brad Johnson: One of the big things I took away from your message, it started as your list, but then it became this almost creative version of your list, and helping others do their list. So, just going back and rewinding the story, two weeks the first time, then two months, then was the next version the US with MTV’s backing? That was like the third summer.
Ben Nemtin: Yeah, it was maybe like the fourth summer. It took about two years.
Brad Johnson: Where in that journey did you unlock, which I feel like was a big part of how it inspired you guys, that this isn’t just about us, this is about other people’s lists? Was it the organic, where people started telling you their stuff, like the first summer or two?
Ben Nemtin: It was the first summer. Yeah, from the very beginning, we always had that. It was always going to be…
Brad Johnson: So, that was part of the origin is while we do ours, we’re going to help others do theirs.
Ben Nemtin: Yep.
Brad Johnson: Okay.
Ben Nemtin: Yeah, one thing on ours, help someone else do something on theirs. But we never knew how we were going to help other people, because we couldn’t pay for the dream. And we ended up helping other people by connecting them with people that could help. That’s how it happened. So, someone would always offer support. We’d connect them. And so, magic would always happen to make these dreams come to fruition. And then when we had the show, we did have a budget to do that, which was really cool.
Brad Johnson: So, then you actually had more means to be able to fulfill some of those.
Ben Nemtin: Yeah, exactly.
Brad Johnson: So, what was the very first one that you ever did, your very first wish or bucket list item that was on your list?
Ben Nemtin: Okay. So, my list, and then the first person that we helped?
Brad Johnson: Yeah.
Ben Nemtin: The first list item that we crossed off was it was the day we left, and it was to be a knight for a day. So, we got a full set of knights’ armor. And we just thought it’d be really funny to go about your day-to-day in a suit of armor. And so, I didn’t know this, but Johnny, who was one of the guys, he called all the media, promised this giant stunt, because we were going to do it downtown. And so, he brought everyone.
Brad Johnson: Downtown, where?
Ben Nemtin: Downtown Victoria. So, there’s nothing going on, which is why all the news showed up. So, the news showed up, and I was awkwardly walking out of the RV. I was really nervous, because I just found out that there were news here. And I said, “Johnny, I can’t do a stunt. Like, I can barely walk in this thing.” I’m sweating. It’s like 50 pounds of armor. I’ve got this big sword and chain mail. And I step out of the RV, and the news cameras are waiting for me to do something, and I just don’t do anything, because I just can’t. And there’s this little five-year-old boy walking with his mom. And he just so happens to be walking down the street, and he’s holding his mom’s hand. In his other hand, he’s holding a plastic sword.
So, he sees this knight step onto the street, and just eyes go wide. He doesn’t say anything. He lets go of his mom’s hand, runs over to me, and then kneels down and bows his head.
Brad Johnson: No, he didn’t.
Ben Nemtin: I swear to God. This is what started The Buried Life, this moment. I’ll tell you why. Because I didn’t cut off his head. I knighted him. And I knighted him, and there just so happened to be a photographer there. Photographer took a photo. And so, the next day, we’re getting ready for our road trip, and we’re excited. We crossed off be a knight for a day. It was a big success. News was there. And we pick up the newspaper as we go, and we realize we crossed off two list items. The second, make the front page of the newspaper. And there I am with the six-year-old boy, or five-year-old boy, Diego. And that started the media craze around the project.
And then it was provincial news then it was national news. And the more news sort of created this energy around the project. And then more people wanted to help us, and more people sent us their dreams. And so, then people were emailing us, and we would look at them and go, “Oh, we can help this person, we can help this person.” So, it was always one thing on ours, one thing on someone else’s list.
Brad Johnson: And so, did you have a website at that point?
Ben Nemtin: We had a website.
Brad Johnson: Was that how they started coming in?
Ben Nemtin: Exactly. No social media at that point. All through the website.
Brad Johnson: So, you kind of get this PR boost right out of the gates.
Ben Nemtin: Yep.
Brad Johnson: Somewhat orchestrated, somewhat accidentally, sounds like.
Ben Nemtin: Definitely accidental. Yes.
Brad Johnson: Yeah. And then just the inquiries start kind of starting to probably…
Ben Nemtin: Yeah, trickle in.
Brad Johnson: Trickle in, and then it started the more… Okay.
Ben Nemtin: Yeah.
Brad Johnson: What was the first one you remember coming in that you’re like, “Oh, we’re onto something, and we want to go help them”?
Ben Nemtin: We were in Kelowna, which you talked about, which is in BC. And it was maybe halfway through our trip. And one of the list items was to crash a parade, lead a parade. And there was this just so… We timed the tour so we would be in Kelowna for this thing called Peach Fest, and there was this Peach Fest parade. And so, we decorated our RV with streamers and stuff, and we kind of just drove into the parade. And while we’re in the parade, we’re looking out to the crowd, and people are like, “Hey, you’re crossing off number 32.” And we’re like, “People know what we’re doing, and they know the list item?” And so, it was starting to just catch fire. And it was about that time we got this email from a guy named Brent, and Brent was in Kelowna, and he said, “I want to bring pizzas to the homeless shelter.”
Brad Johnson: Yeah.
Ben Nemtin: Okay. And we’re like, “Perfect. We can afford a couple of pizzas.” Like, most of the dreams we couldn’t help with, but we could afford a couple of pizzas. We go meet him, we talk with him, and we learn his story. And he had lived in that homeless shelter. He said when people brought in food, in a world where no one cared about him, it was a moment when he felt like someone cared about him. And so, he wanted to do that. He wanted to give that back to the homeless shelter and bring in pizzas. And we started talking more about his story, and we learned that he had got himself out of the homeless shelter by starting a landscaping business, and his landscaping business relied on his old truck, and his truck had recently broken down.
And so, his whole business was on the rocks, and like, who knows, maybe we would be at risk of going back into the homeless shelter. But he never asked for help with the truck. He always asked for help with the pizzas. And so, we were kind of touched by that, and we thought after that interview, we said, “We’ve got to figure out a way to get this guy a truck.” So, we go to a used car salesman. We have $480. The cheapest truck is $2,100. We tell him Brent’s story. He sells us the truck for $480. He then pays for insurance out of his own pocket. We’re so young and dumb that we don’t even know…
Brad Johnson: The dealership?
Ben Nemtin: Yes, the dealership.
Brad Johnson: Paid for the insurance for the car you just bought for a fourth of the price?
Ben Nemtin: Correct. Correct.
Brad Johnson: Wow.
Ben Nemtin: We didn’t even know that you needed to buy insurance. Like, that’s how dumb we were because you’re so young. And so, we literally had $480 between the four of us. And he told us this story of how, actually, just watched this because we’re looking at old footage, and I’d forgotten about this, but he said, “My daughter really wants to go to Thailand, and her friends just basically crowdfunded a ticket for her to go. And so, I feel like I want to pay that forward.” So, it was, again, this idea of the ripple effect and paying it forward. So, we get the truck, we drive it up to Brent, we toss him the keys, and you saw the video. He just bear hugs me and starts to cry.
And that was an experience unlike anything I’d ever had before, where it was just the raw emotion of his, just the feeling we had, that connection, seeing him, that joy, and then the connection that we had with him afterward for years to come. We followed up with him later. We helped him go back to school to finish his high school, get his high school diploma. We went back and visited him. And so, that moment, we were like, “Oh, wow.” Like, “This is what this is about.” And that’s why we always committed to keeping that, helping other people. And even with the show, the episode, every episode was something on our list to help someone else achieve something on their list and kept that consistent throughout.
Because we knew that that’s really what it was about, but we also knew that we wanted to lead with the fun and the engaging, and that’s why the big list items kind of were the thing that brought people in. But ultimately, it was about helping other people.
Brad Johnson: So, cool to hear how that started and then started to gain momentum. So, I think if you looked back and now, okay, you’re on MTV, you have funding, you have real production, what were the cool things that came out of that? And what were the other things you learned that maybe were things you learned that maybe weren’t so cool about fame, TV, whatever you want to call it?
Ben Nemtin: Yeah, it was tough because the goal was always what would inspire our friends? That was always the filter. What would our friends think is cool? Because that was the goal was to do something that, you know, we had friends that I knew wanted to be chefs and open a restaurant, and they were becoming lawyers or something like that. And so, it was like, “Let’s show them how much fun it is to live this way, but it’s got to be real.” And when you’re making a reality show, most of them are scripted. And we didn’t know that. And so, we had to just really fight for things to be real. So, we wouldn’t clear stuff. We would do stuff on our own. We would break away from the crew, because it was harder to make it, you know, that large crew made the authenticity drop.
Brad Johnson: Yeah, I’m sure they see a posse of cameramen coming like…
Ben Nemtin: So, we would film stuff on our own.
Brad Johnson: Yeah.
Ben Nemtin: Like you saw, playing basketball with Obama, that was on a Flipcam. And so, that was the challenge. But we just gave it everything that we had, and we slept at the edit bays, and we would recut stuff on our own, and ultimately made something that I think really resonated.
Brad Johnson: Yeah. Did Obama truly surprise you on that?
Ben Nemtin: Yeah, 100%.
Brad Johnson: You thought he was out of town.
Ben Nemtin: Yeah. He was supposed to be. It was right when he was trying to pass the health care bill, and he was supposed to be out of town, but he stayed. And we were told he was out of town, and we just thought we were going to see the basketball courts at the White House. And this was after hundreds of nos.
Brad Johnson: Yes.
Ben Nemtin: Basically, the administration felt bad for us. They were like, “These kids won’t go away. Let’s let them do a tour of the White House.”
Brad Johnson: Because, for those unfamiliar, that was one of the things on your list.
Ben Nemtin: Yeah. Play basketball with President Obama was on the list, and we were trying to play at the White House. We knew no one in Washington. We didn’t have any connections, and we just drove our big purple bus to Washington and started campaigning.
Brad Johnson: Just four Canadians road tripping to DC in a purple bus. You know?
Ben Nemtin: Yeah, exactly. Pretty standard.
Brad Johnson: So, how many nos did you get before you were actually invited to the White House? Because you found kind of the side door a bit into that.
Ben Nemtin: Yeah. 100 probably. Because we had sent dozens of emails. We took dozens of meetings. We got a few official rejections. And, yeah, we just didn’t give up. But the thing is, we started to get creative with it, and I think that that’s something that I learned, is like, there’s a difference between persistence and creative persistence. And when you approach a goal, a dream, a problem with creativity, the person on the other side, they see that and there’s a little bit of a respect there when you say, “Oh, these…” We were doing things that ultimately I don’t think other people would do. We’d stand outside the White House with signs, wearing basketball uniforms.
We would go to the YMCA, where people that we knew were going to be there, like working out, the administration might be, and we’d ask them questions. We were kind of wild. But I think that ultimately, when you approach these problems, these goals, these dreams with some creativity, there’s a reaction on the other side that you don’t get if you just kind of do what everyone else is doing.
Brad Johnson: Well, I mean, anybody can send one email. But the fact you were committed, and you’re like, “Well, let’s… They said no here,” because you did get an official decline, I think fairly early on.
Ben Nemtin: Yeah.
Brad Johnson: And then what was the gentleman that you met that was kind of organized?
Ben Nemtin: Yeah, it was the personal aide to the president, a guy named Reggie Love.
Brad Johnson: Reggie Love.
Ben Nemtin: And he kind of got on board with this idea, and he tried to make it happen. And he actually submitted it to the press team, and they gave the official rejection. And so, he invited us to the White House basketball courts too, as a consolation prize. And while we were on the courts, he had told President Obama that we were going to be there, so if he had time to come down, and he really liked the idea, and he came down. And there’s different stories about how he heard about it, because there’s also a story that he heard about it from his kids. And then he came to work at the White House, and Reggie had to be like, “Yeah, well, I’ve tried to make it happen.” He’s like, “Okay. Well, make it happen.”
And so, it took a long time, but it ultimately happened, and I think that’s when we learned that it’s not about the nos that you get, because it’s just about the one yes. So, you can get 1,000 nos. As long as you get that one yes, that’s all you’re looking for. So, each no is just closer to the yes. And that was a moment when he strolled on the court where I saw this thing that I thought was impossible. Like, I remember when we wrote down ‘play basketball with President Obama’ on the list, I laughed, because I thought this is the most impossible thing we could think of as four Canadians. And then I saw it happen, and I think that it changed my belief system around what was possible. And I think anyone can do that to their own belief system.
And I think that that’s one of my goals is to sort of encourage people to prove to themselves that they can do these things, and achieve these goals that they thought were impossible, because we had no business doing these things. We just were sort of young, dumb, and broke enough to try. And then we stumbled upon this really rich life lesson around the power of moving through the fear and doing things with like-minded people so you create accountability, and so that you do them, right? And so, if you look at the research of why we don’t achieve our dreams, there’s three main reasons.
One, there’s no deadlines for dreams, so we always put them off. Because everything else in our life has a deadline. And that means we have to create accountability. So, we have to write down our goals. We have to share them, right? We have to have accountability buddies or people that are checking in, or we have to do things with other people, because then that increases the accountability. Like, if you’ve trained for a marathon, you’re going to have a higher chance of doing the marathon if you train with a friend.
Brad Johnson: For sure.
Ben Nemtin: So, accountability is key. And we just had that baked in, because I did this with three friends, so we were lucky we stumbled upon that. And the second problem is that we usually are waiting to feel inspired. We’re waiting for the motivation to go after the dream. We’re waiting for the perfect time. And that rarely hits. You don’t wake up, and you’re like, “This is the perfect day to go after it.” Because you always feel that fear. That fear doesn’t go away. So, the truth is, you create your own inspiration through action, right? You’re the architect of your own inspiration. So, you act first, and then the inspiration hits. And then you follow that inspiration, and that’s where the motivation comes. But you have to kickstart it by taking the step, and most people don’t take that first step because it’s scary. So, which leads into the third problem, which is the fear.
And the fear is the biggest barrier. And it’s either fear of failure or fear of what other people think. And these are just human fears that eventually we learn, “Oh, I can actually move through that, and I’m going to be okay.” At the very least, I’m going to learn something. Even if I do fail, that’s actually great because then I learn, and I don’t have to regret not trying at the end of my life. And then the fear of what other people think is also sort of this misconception, because people just aren’t thinking about you as much as you think they are, and they’re actually kind of kinder than you think. You’re harder on yourself than other people. And really, if people shoot you down, you probably don’t want them in your life, you know?
So, again, like back to this idea of surrounding yourself with people that inspire you, I have kept that as a filter my entire life, like consciously being around people that lift me up, consciously being around people that inspire me, that are doing cool things, so it makes me feel like I can do amazing things. And if people don’t support you, then maybe they’re not the best people to be around. And so, to gravitate towards those people that want you to win, that support you, so to support you to go for it. And if you do fail, they know this is great. Now, you just try something else. But I think that those three barriers they’re like subconsciously holding us back.
Brad Johnson: Yeah. Well, you said something. You said you’re braver with the team.
Ben Nemtin: Yeah.
Brad Johnson: Do you think there’s any chance, any chance at all you go on this crazy mission, 100 bucket list items without the crew you rolled with, the other three guys? Is there any reality that ever happens?
Ben Nemtin: 100% no way. No chance. I remember asking one of the guys before we left, because I’m more logical and I’m like, “How are we going to do this?” Like, we’re going after this list of 100 things, and we want to help 100 people in two weeks? This is absurd. Like, how are we going to help other people? How are we going to do any of these things? And I remember it was Johnny who I asked, and he just said, “Well, we’re going to try.” And there was another moment when we were on the night before, we were sitting outside, and we took the RV to the mechanic. And we ended up borrowing this RV. This was not our RV. We didn’t have enough money.
Brad Johnson: This is pre-Purple Bus, the first one.
Ben Nemtin: Yeah, this is the very, very first tour.
Brad Johnson: Which was a solid 1970-something model?
Ben Nemtin: Yeah, 1977 Dodge Coachmen RV. We borrowed it. We didn’t have the money to tow it back if it broke down. And the mechanic said, “There’s no way this is making it back.” And we sat on the curb outside of our house with the RV, and we almost didn’t go. We said, “What are we going to do if this breaks down?” And Dave, one of the other guys, said, “We’ve come this far. We have to go.” And so, we did, but we almost didn’t. And I probably would have not gone the first time, because I wouldn’t have known how we’re going to help other people. I probably would have not gone during that second road bump because I didn’t know how we were going to get the RV back. And we lost five of six tires in that first road trip, but we figured it out, and we made it back.
And so, I wouldn’t have done it without the other guys. And so many moments along the way, there were times when I was like, “What are we doing? We can’t do this.” And they pulled me up, and vice versa. They felt like that. And so, that’s why I think what’s great about the Triad community is you guys help one another. You’re okay to be vulnerable. You step in to support. You ask for help. Not only is it essential, but it’s also just more fun to do business, do life with friends, and do business with people that you like. Because at the end of the day, you spend so much of your time working that it makes your existence so much nicer when you’re doing it with friends.
Brad Johnson: Yeah. You said something early in, into your keynote. You said something to the effect of the human experience. It might have been towards the end, actually. There’s going to be highs, there’s going to be lows. That is part of being a human. And I feel like, as an entrepreneur, which is our members, they’re amplified.
Ben Nemtin: 100%, yeah.
Brad Johnson: Higher highs, lower lows. And if you don’t have that crew to lean on, when you’re like, “This is impossible. We can’t do this,” it’s lonely. I wouldn’t want to do it, you know? And it’s just that, that’s so cool that you got that lesson at such a young age. And then here’s the other piece. Once you knighted the little five-year-old, the momentum and the domino effect that started to where you’re like, “Wait, we’re onto something here.” And I see that play out in business all the time, where it’s like, “Hey, let’s try this new initiative.” And then what if it works?
Ben Nemtin: Exactly.
Brad Johnson: And then boom.
Ben Nemtin: Follow your energy. That’s the big takeaway is you don’t need to overthink it. You follow the energy. And that can lead you to an incredible life and incredible success, I think. And that’s ultimately what we stumbled upon, and that’s why we didn’t do the show the first time when we got offered the Canadian show, because we thought, “No, we’re onto something. Like, we got to keep doing it our way.” And that belief was buoyed by the collective, right? And so, when you have people around you that feel that way too, which really speaks to the community, is like you’re doing something different, but you’re doing it together. And so, there’s less fear around that initiative that you’re doing.
Like you guys, you’re doing this in a different way, you have a different philosophy. And ultimately, it’s resonating, right? I mean, I think, I talk with a lot of advisors, and I always think that advisors that embody the holistic approach to serving their clients just makes so much sense, because ultimately, it’s a game of trust, right? And I’ve gone through a few advisors, and my current advisor, I just trust him. Like, I just know he has my back, he knows who I am, he knows what’s important to me, he knows where I’m going, where I want to go, and that comes through meaningful conversations. So, what’s an easy entry point into a meaningful conversation?
Well, “Hey, what’s on your bucket list? What are you passionate about? What’s something you love to do outside of work? What’s the greater why, the greater purpose behind these financial goals?” Like, what are we doing here, right? Is it for the family? Is it legacy? Is it community? And so, as advisors, to be dream managers for your clients, to understand what’s important to them, to connect to their why, just allows you to understand their goals so you can serve them better, but also build a meaningful relationship. And ultimately, a friendship, right? So, you then share your passions and purpose. And so, I think it’s a powerful approach and also, from where I sit as a client, the right approach.
Brad Johnson: Well, you’re taking this conversation exactly where I want to go because here’s my scribbled notes for the camera there, from your keynote. What was really cool, you took something that you personally lived, which was a lot of people talk about bucket lists. You lived it to the craziest amount I’ve ever seen a bucket list lived. But then you actually broke down some of the science behind purpose. And what you discovered along the way coming out of kind of a dark time of your life. A couple of studies you mentioned. A University of Washington study that showed you’re four times more likely to live past 85 if you’ve identified a purpose, the feeling you have when you are moving towards your potential.
And then there was another study, seven times more likely to overcome a challenge if you’ve got a why behind it, versus a how you’re doing it. So, I don’t know if you want to expand on any of that, because you’re the guy that’s done the research, not me, and you’ve lived pieces of this. But as we talk about financial advisors helping pre-retirees and retirees now figure out what’s their purpose as they shift from their working years to actually time to do a bucket list, what are your thoughts? What’s your advice for advisors out there?
Ben Nemtin: Well, I think it’s important to understand how powerful purpose is. And I think we first have to define what purpose is. And I don’t think that there is one purpose. I think we have many purposes. And my definition of purpose is, again, back to anything that brings you back to your true self or gives you energy or makes you feel more alive or more like yourself. Like, those things that you do when you are just feeling embodied or energized, right? And so, what does that look like? Well, it looks like many different things to many different people. Sometimes, for me, I get purpose from certain people, right, like people that energize me. Sometimes it’s when I’m being creative.
Sometimes it’s when I’m giving back. Sometimes it’s when I’m playing tennis, right? Like, I’m in the moment. I’m in a flow state. So, it’s just like I feel truly in the moment like myself. And then there are other people I’m around where I feel just like muted, you know? Or I’m doing something, and it just feels hard or sluggish, and that’s when I know, okay, this is not something that’s maybe aligned. So, if you think about purpose as being anything that energizes you, and then you look at, okay, well, let’s look at the science of purpose, well, those with a sense of purpose, they bounce back from illness quicker, like they’re more vital. They live longer. Like you said, the study of the University of Washington study, it was females past 85. They lived past 85 four times more that had a sense of purpose. So, what did that look like for them? We don’t know.
But maybe a lot of times you look at in senior living communities like connection, right? Relationships, those bring a sense of purpose. And then you look at productivity and resilience. Like you’re seven times more likely to overcome a challenge if you hit that challenge and you think, “Why am I doing this?” instead of how. So, that why is like a well of resilience, right? It’s like if you’re working for a client and you know that they’re going through a difficult time, maybe they lost a parent or something like that, and you understand like how important it is for them, you’re going to work harder. Like, you’re going to be more attached to that task because you know there’s a deeper why. Like, that’s the power of purpose.
When your team knows, and they have a first-hand connection to the work and the impact of the work with clients, where they hear stories of clients doing incredible things, or living their dream, or making an impact, or how like someone that’s working as support, right, who may not have the direct impact or direct connection to the client, but then they get to connect to that human impact, that’s going to fuel them, right? So, I always talk with advisors about like sharing these stories of impact, and so that your team can connect that and bringing them back to that deeper why of the ripple effect, that you’re not just helping clients, you’re helping their family, their friends, their community, future generations.
And so, the reason I know purpose is so powerful is because that’s what changed my life, right? If I think about it, this list, this bucket list, it was a list of things that I thought could bring me a sense of purpose. And I started to move towards those things, and ultimately, I was moving towards my potential, right? My true self. And back to this definition out of Harvard, there’s the definition of happiness out of Harvard is the feeling you have when you’re moving toward your potential. In other words, moving towards your purpose. And so, happiness comes from this movement towards purpose, and that’s what we did. We just made a list. I was stuck, I was depressed. I made a list. I started to move towards these things that might bring me a sense of purpose, and ultimately, I started to move towards my potential.
And so, again, it was no silver bullet. There were many other things that helped me come out of that state, but I do really believe that being intentional about the things I wanted to go after, making sure that they were truly driven from my own self versus what other people wanted from me or the life I thought I should live, brought that sense of happiness. And ultimately, it’s allowed me to be successful, because I’ve tapped into that energy.
Brad Johnson: Well, you said something earlier. You said, “The current advisor I have, we’ve got one thing, trust. We have trust.” And I look at how do you develop that as an advisor? And one of the ways I’ve found is you don’t talk about the numbers. The logical side of a financial plan, like what it is, right? It’s a bunch of numbers on a spreadsheet. What does it do? Well, it gets me from here to there. But most importantly, what does it mean? Back to that why. That is what people I’ve found they attach to. It’s aspirational. It’s inspirational. Yeah. Are you telling me if I work with you, three years from now, I could go take that trip to Italy that I’ve been putting off? And for my wife and her family, they grew up Catholic, and the Vatican, and going to see that, that was a thing that was so important to her mom.
And I remember when we were able to check that one off their list, and we’d spent three weeks in Italy with Sarah’s parents. I had more fun watching them experience it than me on the actual trip, right? Like, living it through them. And so, I have to think as an advisor, if you unlock that with your clients, not only are you going to be a better advisor because they’re going to want to work with you, but number two, how much joy that’s personally going to bring to you as an advisor. So, if you were, let’s say, Ben, we wave a magic wand, you’re a financial advisor today, now. How would you start to take people through that conversation? If you’re in an appointment, you’re starting to unlock these really cool things that have been buried. How would you do that?
So, you’re an advisor now, you’re navigating these conversations. You want to help them. Where’s your book at? Where’s that book? If we can bring it over here. Thank you. So, I know you wrote a book around this, which might be a key to it. Thank you. So, this was really cool. The Bucket List Journal. Ben didn’t ask me to do this, by the way. I’m just doing it on my own accord.
Ben Nemtin: Yeah, thanks.
Brad Johnson: But there’s a way that you can actually journal and write that down. So, are there some ideas out of here, or some ways you would go about that conversation?
Ben Nemtin: Yeah. So, it’s funny because I speak to financial advisors quite often. And when I run into them later and sometimes they’ll ask me to come in to do client events, but a lot of them will use the journal with their clients.
Brad Johnson: If there’s anything you want to reference in there, go for it.
Ben Nemtin: Yeah. So, basically, The Bucket List Journal is like the manual for your dreams. I think the problem is it’s difficult to look at a blank piece of paper and just say, “Okay, what are all my dreams?” Like, it’s a daunting or to think like, what’s my purpose? And so, I like a process for doing things, so I created this process in the journal where you write your list in 10 life categories. So, you think about your list as a whole list of reflection of who you are. So, there’s going to be more than just travel to Italy and skydive. It’s going to be different buckets of your life. So, it’s travel and adventure, it’s relationship goals. One of the top five regrets of the dying is, “I wish I would’ve stayed in contact with friends.”
It’s physical health, mental health, it’s financial, professional, giving. And every person, the truth is like we’ve asked thousands of people, tens of thousands of people, the question, what do you want to do before you die? And what I’ve learned is that everyone has a buried dream. Everyone has a dream that they haven’t acted on yet, that maybe they’ve been putting off, or maybe they just told themself they can’t do or they forgot about. And sometimes it takes a little bit of time to figure out what that is, but everyone has it. And I think as an advisor, if you can start to ask people about the type of life they want to live, because again, I think that that’s aspirational to think about, like if I had all the money in the world, what would I do differently? How would I live? How would I spend my time? How would that impact my family? Where would I go? Who would I help?
And I think by starting that conversation, you’re giving just this blank canvas of anything’s possible. Like, what does it look like? We’ll worry about how we get there later, but what is it that you truly want? Like, if you were just living your best life, if you were waking up every day excited, if you were sleeping through the night because you had no worries, what would that life look like? And start to define that for them, you know? And it probably is going to incorporate different things. It’s probably going to be some stuff around health and longevity. It’s probably going to be stuff about giving. It’s probably going to be some stuff about relationships with loved ones or family. It’s probably going to be travel and adventure.
But I think you can also open up that door by sharing something personal about yourself, like you said. And I know some really intimate things about my advisor, and vice versa, because we have that open relationship. But I think at the very least it could start with looking at, hey, what’s something you love to do? What’s something you’re passionate? What’s something you want to do more of? But the journal can help kind of define some of those things in those categories of life. But I do love the idea of advisors being dream managers. Like, that’s your job.
Brad Johnson: I mean, instead of money manager, how much better is that?
Ben Nemtin: Yeah, exactly.
Brad Johnson: I mean, money manager, what’s that mean?
Ben Nemtin: Yeah, it’s like money manager is like someone with spectacles and a cigar and living in the safe protecting the money. Yeah, dream manager is just that’s the role. But you got to figure out what those dreams are. And for clients that are retiring, it’s more important for those clients than anybody because you can’t just turn on purpose when you retire. That’s why so many people retire, and then they go back to work, because you just drop off this cliff of purpose. Your whole identity, your whole life, everything has been revolving around purpose, your identity, your self-worth. And to retire and just be like, “Okay, this is what I’m going to do,” is very difficult.
And so, you want to kind of ramp up. You want to start to look at your list as a list of experiments, again, to sort of, before you retire, try these things. Let’s start to figure out what you love to do so you can start to do those, and you can kind of ramp those up so that when you retire, you’re not just left without that purpose. And so, that’s also an important thing to talk about with older clients, or clients that are going to retire, who knows if they’re older. And then it’s also, I think, important for succession planning, which I mentioned, because the younger generation just has different values and different goals. And so, of course, you’re going to have to sort of figure out what’s their why, what’s important to them. And to not just keep the book of business, but also to be able to serve them. So, I just think that it checks all these boxes.
Brad Johnson: Well, are there 10 different kind of buckets?
Ben Nemtin: Yeah.
Brad Johnson: One is relationships, correct?
Ben Nemtin: Yes.
Brad Johnson: The thing I see that’s often underappreciated is, back to they’ve worked 20, 30 years, maybe they’re a business owner, maybe that was their entire identity, well, they oftentimes aren’t going to keep going to the office, so all of those relationships that came with that go away. So, now I’m retired, and I’m looking around. Where are my friends?
Ben Nemtin: I got nothing to do. I got no one to hang out with. Yeah. Well, relationships, like that long Harvard study, 80, 90-year Harvard study has found that relationships are the greatest contributor to happiness.
Brad Johnson: But what’s cool is now they have time. So, now you can start to actually have the time to do those things you were passionate about, maybe didn’t have time during your working years or raising a family years. So, now you can go back to those interests. I heard it said one time, look at your nightstand, and what are the books you read that you’re not forced to read? Because your natural interests are drawn to that. And so, now, how can I start to develop a community of people around that? Because guess what? There are a lot of people interested in a lot of things out in the world. And so, what I hear you saying a little bit is if you’re a great financial advisor, number one, you’re going to pull that out a bit. You’re going to get those dreams on a piece of paper, start to build a plan to get them there. But now if we can…
Ben Nemtin: And act on it.
Brad Johnson: Yeah, start to build relationships on the new path.
Ben Nemtin: And I think too, yes, so it’s all of those things. But I think, ultimately, having the perspective of seeing the forest from the trees and looking at their clients’ tendencies and be like, “Now is the time.” Like, you can do the trip this year, right? You can do…
Brad Johnson: Permission to spend.
Ben Nemtin: Exactly. Permission to spend, permission to start to act on those things that you know are important to your clients, and just… Because a lot of the, I mean, I can definitely resonate with this, is just like, I’ll just keep saving because that’s what I was taught to do. Like, I just didn’t grow up with money, and so I just don’t know how to spend it very well, and I need my advisor to be like, “Yes, you can rent this house,” or, “You can buy this house.” And I think that permission to do the thing that you would probably just keep putting off until you retire, and maybe it’s too late, and also, to push them to start to do those things, to start to learn what are those passions so that when you do retire, you don’t just have to try and turn it on overnight. You know the books that you love. You already found the different community outside of work. You’ve started to work that muscle, because it really is a muscle that you need to start to build.
Brad Johnson: Well, what got you there actually is what’s holding you back from spending, because you’re accumulating, you’re saving. And now, those same behaviors, it’s like, oh, wait, I actually can spend this now? It’s not about more money in the bank account. One of my favorite quotes that I think will resonate with you, the founder of Patagonia had a quote, “Your last shirt doesn’t have a pocket on it.” AKA, you can’t take it with you. So, what are you going to do? Die with $5 million, $10 million, $20 million in the bank and never do the stuff that mattered, you know?
Ben Nemtin: Yeah. I was talking with the gentleman in the elevator. He said, “My favorite book is Die With Zero.” It’s one of my favorite books. It’s an amazing book and you read the title, you get the book. It’s like, yeah, spend it, even give it away while you’re there. Like, spend it while you can.
Brad Johnson: So, you can see the benefit while you’re there.
Ben Nemtin: So, you can see the impact. Or give it to your kids while you’re around. And that’s what I tell my parents all the time. I’m like, “Guys, don’t leave anything for us.” And I think if you’re wired to save and you sort of grow up with it, there’s no marker where you’re like, “Oh, okay, I’m good now.” You just keep doing your defaults. So, you do need someone to say, “Hey, you’re good. You can do this. In fact, you should do it.” Like, for me, the thing that was so helpful with my advisor was really he took the time to build the plan. And I never really had someone look at the holistic, all the assets and everything going on, and where I was going, and build that comprehensive plan, so that I could go to him and say, “Hey, can I buy this house? Can I take this trip? Or how many trips a year? Or what’s a reasonable budget for me to go on?”
And then within that parameter, there’s freedom because I feel the confidence like, “Hey, I can spend a little more because it’s all in the plan.” So, I think pushing clients to spend on the things that are meaningful, right, is like what it’s about. Or why would you save the money? And sometimes you need that push from them because they know it’s important, and ultimately, that just builds the relationship.
Brad Johnson: Well, I have to ask because there are a few advisors out there saying, “Ben seems like a pretty good, successful dude I’d like to work with.” How did you connect with your current advisor? Was it a referral?
Ben Nemtin: That’s a good question. It was a referral ultimately from my CPA. And it was through the… I bought a house, and so it was actually through the house-buying process that I met him. And I actually didn’t work with him at first. But I kind of stayed in touch and met with him when I was in New York, and ultimately, decided to move over to him. And what he did, actually, I mean, for what it’s worth, just because this is what we’re talking about, he did an audit of all my finances, and built the plan, basically. And walked me through the holes in my current plan, which I thought was really helpful. So, for what it’s worth, that really worked. He actually showed me how he would build a better plan.
Brad Johnson: Love it. Well, we’re all about that here. So, it aligns with what we preach all the time. Well, we’re right at the end of our time together, and so I’ve just got kind of one final question for you, and we were talking before we hit record here. You’re new in the dad club, about a year and change.
Ben Nemtin: Almost a year.
Brad Johnson: Almost a year. Coming up on a year.
Ben Nemtin: Yep.
Brad Johnson: I’m 16 years in, so if you need things what not to do, I’ve got a long list there. Maybe a few things to do right. But you’re very familiar now with Do Business, Do Life, what that means here at Triad, and it kind of has a double meaning. We want to help our members build businesses that bless their lives, don’t become their lives. And in finance, that can be tough. It’s money every day, all day, and unfortunately, sometimes that can consume you if you let it. But we also have a community where we want to do business and do life together. You’re experiencing some of that here. So, I’m curious with kind of the new chapter that you just opened, what does Do Business, Do Life mean to Ben?
Ben Nemtin: Well, I think it means coming to more Triad events because I saw…
Brad Johnson: Let’s go.
Ben Nemtin: The kids’ camps look amazing. I did a session with teens after I did the general session. And had all these teens writing their bucket list, but then I was just walking around and seeing all these kids from one to 15, 16, so excited to go to the kids’ camps. And so, obviously, as a new dad, my entire approach to travel has completely changed. And now I’m thinking about like, what’s a great family trip? And so, this feels like a great family trip, to be able to have a place where kids go. And for someone that speaks 100, 125 times a year, I tell you what, it’s very rare to go to an event where there’s programming for the kids.
And kids come, and I’m always encouraging the kids to come to my session because it’s a great experience for families to have, but it’s rare that there’s this level of programming for the kids and this type of, you know… Clearly, the kids are actually friends too, which is really cool. So, you see them, like the older kids that I met, they were tight. And so, that’s really cool. So, I think it’s emblematic of the fact that you practice what you preach. Like, this is about creating a life around your business, versus, like, having a life that actually supports everything and who you are. And so, yeah, I think it’s a great philosophy.
Brad Johnson: Yeah. Well, thank you. That means we’re hitting the mark. When Shawn and I talked about Triad, you know, I got advice a long time ago when I first got married is never stop dating. Because that’s what got you to marriage. And so, when you have children enter the picture, it gets a lot tougher. You’ve got little human beings you’re responsible for. And so, as we were thinking about Triad experiences, actually, I borrowed from a Disney cruise. So, if you go on a Disney cruise, when the time is right, but they do it so intentionally, where you have different age groups, kids camps, and our kids didn’t want to leave. Like, we drop them off. They’re hanging out, doing little activities, meeting new friends.
And guess what? You still need a date night every once in a while. And so, we’re like, what if we create a Triad experience with the idea that kids love it, it’s designed with them in mind, the significant others in mind, but we also have date night to where the kids will be dropped off at kid camp. The adults can go have a nice glass of wine, share some good conversation. So, we still are always tweaking every single one, but it’s cool to see that that hit home with you, because I know you see a lot of different events that you travel out to.
Ben Nemtin: Yeah, and I think it’s important if you sort of zoom out and you look at the top five regrets of the dying, one of them is, “I wish I would’ve lived true to me,” which I talked about. And the other four don’t have anything to do with money. And one of them is I wish I would’ve worked less. And so, I think about do business, do life, and the reason why I think it’s important is just to consistently remind ourselves that there’s so much more to life than business and work. And if we can continue to inject community, inject purpose and meaning, and fun, we’re just going to be able to do it for longer. Like that’s the competitive advantage, right? That’s connecting to that purpose and that energy, and ultimately, we’re just going to show up better for our clients.
Like, if we have a balance in our life. We’re going to be sharper. We’re going to be able to give more of ourselves to our clients and to our families. And this whole idea of work-life balance doesn’t make sense. It is a harmony. And I think that being able to just weave in and out of that effortlessly is the goal. It’s really hard to do. It’s really hard to do, but it is the goal.
Brad Johnson: It takes serious intention.
Ben Nemtin: It takes serious intention.
Brad Johnson: And that’s one of the reasons we loved having you come in, because what you are about is very much what Triad’s about, and so it was a natural fit. So, Ben, thanks for taking the time to sit down, have a conversation. Loved having you here. I was right there when the kids, the teens, poured out from your session, and you just felt this energy, and that’s what’s so cool, to be able to infuse that into the next generation. And I told you, I said, “Hey, if you can hold a room full of teenagers’ attention for 45 minutes, you’re obviously doing something right.” So, I really appreciate it.
Ben Nemtin: I’m putting that on my LinkedIn bio, for sure.
Brad Johnson: Yes. So, there you go. You’re a little ahead with your one-year-old. You’ll be prepared and ready to go when she gets there.
Ben Nemtin: Thank you. Appreciate that.
Brad Johnson: Well, thanks, my man.
Ben Nemtin: Thanks for having me. I had an awesome time.
Brad Johnson: All right. Till next time.
[END]
